Watching History Being Made

The other day, I heard a song on the radio that made me want to pull over so I could really hear what he was saying.

SAME LOVE by Macklemore

 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OQngzapK5dM

When I was in the 3rd grade I thought that I was gay 'cause I could draw, My uncle was and I kept my room straight I told my mom, tears rushing down my face, she's like, "Ben you've loved girls since before pre-K" Trippin', yeah, I guess she had a point, didn't she? A bunch of stereotypes all in my head I remember doing the math like "Yeah, I'm good a little league" A pre-conceived idea of what it all meant For those who like the same sex had the characteristics The right-wing conservatives think its a decision And you can be cured with some treatment and religion Man-made, rewiring of a pre-disposition. Playing God Ahh nah, here we go America the brave Still fears what we don't know And God loves all his children it's somehow forgotten But we paraphrase a book written 3,500 hundred years ago I don't know And I can't change Even if I tried Even if I wanted to And I can't change Even if I tried Even if I wanted to My love, my love, my love She keeps me warm She keeps me warm She keeps me warm She keeps me warm If I was gay I would think hip-hop hates me Have you read the Youtube comments lately "Man that's gay" Gets dropped on the daily We've become so numb to what we're sayin' Our culture founded from oppression Yeah, we don't have acceptance for 'em Call each other faggots behind the keys of a message board A word routed in hate, yet our genre still ignores it Gay is synonymous with the lesser It's the same hate that's caused wars from religion Gender to skin color the complexion of your pigment The same fight that lead people to walk-outs and sit-ins, It's human rights for everybody There is no difference Live on! And be yourself! When I was in church, they taught me something else If you preach hate at the service Those words aren't anointed And that Holy Water, that you soak in is then poisoned When everyone else Is more comfortable remaining voiceless Rather than fighting for humans, that have had their rights stolen I might not be the same But that's not important No freedom 'til we're equal Damn right I support it I don't know And I can't change Even if I tried Even if I wanted to My love, my love, my love She keeps me warm She keeps me warm She keeps me warm She keeps me warm We press play Don't press pause Progress, march on! With a veil over our eyes We turn our back on the cause 'Till the day That my uncles can be united by law Their kids are walkin' around the hallway Plagued by pain in their heart A world so hateful, some would rather die than be who they are And a certificate on paper Isn't gonna solve it all, but it's a damn good place to start No law's gonna change us We have to change us. Whatever God you believe in We come from the same one Strip away the fear Underneath it's all the same love About time that we raised up And I can't change Even if I tried Even if I wanted to And I can't change Even if I tried Even if I wanted to My love, my love, my love She keeps me warm She keeps me warm She keeps me warm She keeps me warm Love is patient, love is kind Love is patient Love is kind (Not crying on Sundays) Love is patient,(Not crying on Sundays) love is kind (I'm not crying on Sundays) Love is patient,(Not crying on Sundays) love is kind(I'm not crying on Sundays) Love is patient,(Not crying on Sundays) love is kind(I'm not crying on Sundays) Love is patient, love is kind

Macklemore really struck a nerve. Growing up in church, I remember listening to sermons on why being gay is wrong. My church started a petition against Disney because they granted insurance benefits to same-sex partners. I even felt a little guilty watching "The Lion King" movie.

But as I grew older, I had a hard time reconciling my faith and the idea that gay people were "wrong." And as I made gay friends in college and work, their struggle for acceptance became more real to me.

I still don't understand why the gay issue is such a sore spot with the Christian church. If the church were to rank sins, being gay is pretty high up there. Even I, as a single mom, was somehow not as "bad" as being gay -- according to the church. Christians are willing to look past lying, gambling, cheating, & drunkenness (which are all mentioned in the Bible too). It's the one sin Christians are unwilling to forgive. Which is ironic -- given that it's not up to us to judge other people.

Today, on Facebook, my gay and lesbian friends (and their allies) are celebrating the defeat of DOMA and Prop 8 by the Supreme Court. My Christian friends are noticeably quiet.

We are watching history being made, and in another generation, they will wonder why the right to marry (regardless of race, gender, etc) wasn't available to everyone.

Going to Movies Alone

Tonight I went to a late night screening of Before Midnight. I never went to movies alone -- until I had A.

When she was younger, she went to lots of birthday parties. And when she got to the age where I could just drop her off at the parties (instead of staying with her), I found that I had some free time. The main thing I would do is watch movies that I couldn't normally watch with her.

From the parent perspective, movies usually fall into three categories.

1. Movies that are too violent, too sexy, or too disturbing to bring kids to
2. Movies geared towards kids with talking animals or animated people
3. Movies that are ok to bring kids to, but they would be bored out of their minds. The poor kid has been dragged along to movies that no kid should be dragged to (A-hem: Young at Heart when she was six).

 Before Midnight falls into category 1, with its frank talk about sex and a certain topless scene. So I took advantage of having had a summer afternoon nap and the willingness of W to stay home with A to run out to my late-night movie.

 In my early 20s, I would never have gone to a movie alone. I would never have eaten out at a restaurant alone. I would have been too self-conscious about people perceiving me as lonely to do anything by myself.

 But tonight, I found it liberating to NOT have to worry if someone else was enjoying the movie as much as I was. I didn't have to share an armrest with anyone. And I finally got to try the powdered popcorn flavoring that A never lets me put on the popcorn we share. [Word to the wise: Don't put too much powder on. Otherwise, you end up inhaling it with every bite. I think I have Nacho Cheese and White Cheddar coating the insides of my lungs now.]

 When you become a parent, especially a single parent, time alone is precious. There is too little time to waste worrying about what others think. Claim that time for yourself instead.